When I hear the word 'negotiation', the thrilling moment of a thriller novel comes to my mind. It looks like Tukhor is facing a detective and a cunning kidnapper, both trying to ensure their own victory. After enrolling in business school, however, I learned that negotiation is a very important life skill.
Christopher Voss and Tal Raj write about this skill in the book Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as Your Life Depends on It. Let me say here, Voss is an American writer, professor and businessman. However, Voss has 24 years of experience working as a "negotiator" for the US intelligence agency, the FBI. On the other hand, Tal Raj is also a renowned journalist, writer and editor. But to be honest, I was interested in reading the book after learning about Voss's exciting career.
Christopher Voss and Tal Raj write about this skill in the book Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as Your Life Depends on It. Let me say here, Voss is an American writer, professor and businessman. However, Voss has 24 years of experience working as a "negotiator" for the US intelligence agency, the FBI. On the other hand, Tal Raj is also a renowned journalist, writer and editor. But to be honest, I was interested in reading the book after learning about Voss's exciting career.
The authors reject shortcuts on how to rationalize their proposals, how to turn the bargain around, how to make negotiations profitable for oneself, and so on. He said it was a win-win situation where the decision would be taken with the satisfaction of both the parties. According to Voss and Raj, fruitful discussions are possible not from ‘accounting reason or strategy’ but from ‘empathy’ and ‘emotional intelligence’. The book repeatedly reminds us, ‘Don’t forget, the person you’re bargaining with isn’t a robot made of machinery. He is a man like you. '
Real-world examples come up again and again. However, for security reasons, it is rarely mentioned in Voss's career experience. However, the essentials that can make negotiation a bit easier for you are:
1. You have to listen to others with your mind. To understand what the other side is emphasizing, what way it wants to move forward, it is important to create a field of discussion with them.
2. There will be three types of voices during negotiations; FM DJ Voice, Playful Positive Voice and Direct Assertive Voice. FM DJ voice basically brings a simple melody to the discussion in a calm-gentle manner and playful positive voice ensures camaraderie. The book suggests using less direct assertive voice. Because it basically expresses one's own firm idea or position, which in many cases is not effective.
3. Mirroring is an important part of negotiations. It is important that you have a proper reflection or consistency of what the other party is saying.
4. In many cases the discussion turns negative because of the direct ‘no’. So where you don't want to say 'yes', the answers have to be humble and logical enough. Answers like ‘I’ll think a little more’, ‘Sorry I can’t really agree on that right now’ can be helpful for you. Remember, ‘yes’ means you are being contracted or committed.
5. Even stronger than ‘yes’ is ‘you’re right’ or ‘that’s right’. As the other side will be encouraged, a positive tone will come in the discussion.
. It is important to be known as ‘fair’ or ‘honest’ if you want to be successful as a negotiator. Because it will also be difficult for you to gain faith.
. When talking about numbers in economic negotiations, set a ‘range’ rather than a specific number. For example, don't say 'I can do the job for 10,000 rupees' but say 'I can do the job for ten to twelve thousand rupees.'
. Remember, 8% of negotiations are based on spoken words. 36 percent determines your speaking style and 55 percent determines your body language.
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Real-world examples come up again and again. However, for security reasons, it is rarely mentioned in Voss's career experience. However, the essentials that can make negotiation a bit easier for you are:
1. You have to listen to others with your mind. To understand what the other side is emphasizing, what way it wants to move forward, it is important to create a field of discussion with them.
2. There will be three types of voices during negotiations; FM DJ Voice, Playful Positive Voice and Direct Assertive Voice. FM DJ voice basically brings a simple melody to the discussion in a calm-gentle manner and playful positive voice ensures camaraderie. The book suggests using less direct assertive voice. Because it basically expresses one's own firm idea or position, which in many cases is not effective.
3. Mirroring is an important part of negotiations. It is important that you have a proper reflection or consistency of what the other party is saying.
4. In many cases the discussion turns negative because of the direct ‘no’. So where you don't want to say 'yes', the answers have to be humble and logical enough. Answers like ‘I’ll think a little more’, ‘Sorry I can’t really agree on that right now’ can be helpful for you. Remember, ‘yes’ means you are being contracted or committed.
5. Even stronger than ‘yes’ is ‘you’re right’ or ‘that’s right’. As the other side will be encouraged, a positive tone will come in the discussion.
. It is important to be known as ‘fair’ or ‘honest’ if you want to be successful as a negotiator. Because it will also be difficult for you to gain faith.
. When talking about numbers in economic negotiations, set a ‘range’ rather than a specific number. For example, don't say 'I can do the job for 10,000 rupees' but say 'I can do the job for ten to twelve thousand rupees.'
. Remember, 8% of negotiations are based on spoken words. 36 percent determines your speaking style and 55 percent determines your body language.
How to Win Every Game of Words With Friends
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